6.3 Language and cultural difference

* Pick one concept from the assigned reading, not already discussed, that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

The topic language and cultural difference always fascinates me, given that I was born and raised in Brazil. Personal experiences not only taught me how to understand cultural differences but also taught me how to respect different cultures.

Trenholm clearly states that “even when they have learned the vocabulary and grammar of each other’s language, they may still experience problems, for languages differ in many other ways” (p. 96). This is so true! Mastering a given language is not guarantee that the communication between people from different cultures will flow smoothly.

I remember that on my first year living in the U.S. someone made the gesture “ok” in response to something I said. I thought this was so disrespectful. I went home so mad. But talking to my husband about the incident, I found out that this gesture has different meaning in Brazilian and American societies. In Brazil, the American gesture for "OK" has an obscene meaning and is considered very rude. It would be like giving somebody the middle finger.

At that time, although I already knew how to speak English, I did not know about this cultural difference. At the end, I could not help but laugh. Imagining how many other incidents like that I would encounter during my staying in America completely opened my eyes to the fact that cultural differences, independently of being subtle or evident, is a serious thing. Indeed, being in contact with a foreign culture allows one to better understand and respect cultural differences.

Ibirapuera

6.2 Men and women communication style

* Do you agree that men and women use language differently? In what areas?

Men and women use language differently because they are conditioned to do so since their childhood. The old adage “girls talk too much” does not necessary apply later on in life. The truth is that some men actually tend to interrupt or to dominate conversations.

In one of her books, entitled “You just don’t understand” (1990), Deborah Tannen explains that “modern stereotypes are not much different from those expressed in the old proverbs that women are believed to talk too much” (p. 75). But actually studies have found that it is the other way around – “it is men who talk more – at meetings, in mixed groups discussions, and in classroom” (p. 75).

Also, when women communicate, they take in consideration collective goals; while men focus on individual goals. I am really fascinated with the book ‘You just don’t understand’. Tannen talks about rapport-talk (private speaking) and report-talking (public speaking) and how these two concepts are directly related to how women and men communicate. While women do private speaking; men do public speaking.

According to Tannen (1990), “most women use communication to establish connections and negotiating relationships. Emphasis is placed on displaying similarities and matching experiences; while for most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve independence and negotiate/maintain status in society” (1990, p. 77). By observing the amount of time women lead a conversation without being interrupted by men, I agree with Tannen: women and men use language differently in their personal and professional lives.

Ibirapuera

6.1 Human judgment

Is it possible to perceive others without in some way judging or categorizing them? If so, how? If not, how can we make the judgments we do make more fair?

In my view, it is not possible to perceive others without in some way judging (aloud or mentally) or categorizing them because judging is somehow embedded in human nature. The way one speaks or remain silent, dresses up, walks, eats, smiles and so forth, sends out messages that others perceive in a positive or negative way.

Although we can not help it, but judge others, we still can make more fair judgments by taking context in consideration and putting ourselves in other people’s shoes. More fair judgments would be made if people looked at the context before judging. Things not always are what we see on the surface. Also, asking ourselves how we would feel if the same judgment was projected on is another way to make more fair judgments. Nobody likes to be judged. So, imagining that we could become victims of unfair judgments makes us more reasonable and compassionate with others.

The illustration displayed on page 45 of the textbook encouraged me to imagine that both parties – the man and the woman can be right or wrong. In this illustration, the woman "appears" to be yelling at the man sitting next to her. The first thought I had when I saw this picture was to feel sorry for the woman, who is trying to communicate with a guy who cares only about his own newspaper. But when I put myself in this man’s shoes, I started thinking that maybe he is covering himself up with the newspaper because he is tired of listening to this woman complaining and yelling at him all the time, regardless of what he does to please her.

Ibirapuera

3.3 Definitions

* Pick one concept from the assigned reading, not already discussed, that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

One concept from chapter three of the textbook that I considered interesting is the notion of definition. What intrigues me the most about the notion of definition is what one takes in consideration before defining what/how things should be defined.

Trenholm (2008) claims that “definitions clarify concepts by indicating their boundaries” (p. 18). In addition to explain concepts, Trenholm mentions that “definitions also limit concepts” (p. 40). These two claims of definition are so true but so disturbing at the same time! Again, it comes to the fact that we live in a totally socially constructed 'reality'.

I could not help but think about how the definitions in the dictionary were chosen. Whoever makes the decision to pick a given definition to a word do so based on his or her social experiences. Hence, if his or her social experiences were absolutely different from mine, most likely I will refute some of his or her definitions.

One interesting example of an absolutely different social 'reality' would be the definition of the word cow for an Indian citizen and for an American citizen. For the Indian citizen, cow can not be anything else but God; for the American citizen, cow is simply a mammal. Who would dare to disagree with them? Clearly their definitions are solely based on the social experiences they had over the course of their lives.

Ibirapuera

3.2 Communication as patterned interaction

* Consider the pragmatic perspective. Does it make sense to think of communication as patterned interaction?

In my understanding, it does make sense to think of communication as patterned interaction. The idea behind the pragmatic perspective is that patterns can be kept of changed. It depends on what works or not within a given communication – either verbal or non verbal communication. As an example, I will use the experiences of a newly married couple. If the wife feels upset because the husband does not help her with the chores, instead of accusing him of being lazy, absent or even irresponsible, she would analyze what lead him to be this way: did his mother never teach or let him to help out with the chores when he was younger? Doesn't he help with the chores because he thinks that this is a strictly feminine task?

By analyzing different reasons why the husband is not helping with the chores the wife should understand what is behind the husband's behavior that upsets her so much. As Trenholm (2008) explained, “the pragmatic perspective views communication as a system of interlocking behaviors that become patterned over time" (p. 41).

Ibirapuera

3.1 How we ‘build worlds’ through communication

* Consider the social constructionist perspective. How do you “build worlds” through communication?

In the course of a lifetime one could not experience everything in order to conclude what is real or not. Let’s think for a moment about the big achievement of the first man who stepped on the moon in 1969, the American Neil Armstrong.

We believe Armstrong was the first man who actually walked on the moon because this historic moment was actually captured by television cameras and photographs taken by Armstrong. Otherwise, without evidences that Armstrong stepped on the moon, how could us believe him?
In the words of Trenholm ((2008), “most of what we know and believe about the worlds comes to us through communication rather than through direct experience” (p. 30).

Most of the things we believe, we do so not because we experienced those things ourselves. Instead, other people experienced them, documented them, and the evidences collected became ‘the truth’ we ultimately believe in. One of the major critics made by Trenholm (2008) about the constructionist perspective is on how one can distinguishes truth and reality.

In my view reality is a social constructed thing. Although human beings can experience certain things on their own, e.g., a woman who had a baby but has never walked in the moon. On the one hand this woman knows what the delivery moment is because she delivered her baby. On the other hand this same woman believes that it is feasible to walk in the moon because she read about it, which turned to become reality to her. But because there is so much to be experience and not so much time to do so, humans often go on simply assuming that “what is out there” is true.

Ibirapuera

2.3 The Five Canons of Rhetoric

It was exciting to learn more about the five canons of Rhetoric. I had had the opportunity to study this subject in a fascinating class previously. Besides the fact that this is an interesting theme, it is indeed, a useful one, taking in consideration how often we utilize these five canons of Rhetoric over the course of our academic, professional, and why not to say, personal lives?

How could one pass a message across without being able to justify (invention) his/her arguments? It is so important to choose the right words (style) situation. Ideas only make sense if they are properly organized (arrangement). How would we be able to finish a story if we could not remember (memory) it? I can not stress the importance of aligning verbal and nonverbal communication (delivery) within a conversation/speech. Life would be a big mess if human beings did not utilize these five concepts on a daily basis.

Ibirapuera