11.2 Filters

* Think about the filters you use to eliminate people from consideration as potential romantic partners. What characteristics or behaviors lead you to judge others as unattractive? Does Duck’s theory make sense to you? Have you ever eliminated someone by using a sociological or pre-interaction cue only to reconsider them based on interaction and cognitive cues?

I certainly used the filter cognitive cues to eliminate people from consideration as my potential romantic partners in the past. I was never necessarily looking for someone whose values and beliefs were exactly the same as mine. However, there had to be some compatibility of values and beliefs for me to consider a certain person as potential romantic partner. In my view, dishonest (e.g., cheating, lying, stealing) is the first signal of unattractiveness. Although I am not perfect, whenever I ever perceived dishonest from someone I was considering to become my potential romantic partner, it completely pushed me away from that person.

Duck’s theory makes sense to me in the sense that it explains, in a straightforward way, how each filter works and how people occupy a given role in other people’s lives, depending on what they do to deserve that certain role. Trenholm (2008) explains that “those who do not pass through the first filter remain strangers. Those who make it through the first but not the second become acquaintances, and so on, with those who make it to the end becoming intimates” (p. 158).

Looking back, I recall having eliminated people from my life using the pre-interaction cue (i.e., body type). Later on, life taught me that what really matters is not how one looks or dresses. Trenholm (2008) explains that “if we let initial filters keep us from getting to know people, we may be missing out on potentially rewarding relationships” (p. 160).

Ibirapuera