* Pick one concept from the assigned reading, that we have no already discussed, that you found useful or interesting, and discuss it.
One of the concepts from the textbook that I found useful was “accommodate.” In Trenholm’s view, “in long term relationships, accommodation can often lead to unstated resentment” (2008, p. 165). I partially agree and partially disagree with this statement. On the one hand, I agree that after some time, excessive accommodation can easily lead one to feel frustrated, not part of the decisions, and with the uncomfortable feeling of being always on the one-down position. On the other hand, no accommodation at all can lead one party to feel unappreciated, resented, and with the feeling that his or her opinion is never important or necessary in the relationship.
Ultimately, I strongly believe that when it comes to inter-human interactions, it is fundamental to accommodate the other party’s opinion to a certain extent so that the relationship flows better. Whenever people feel their opinions have been refused consistently, they insist even harder to be heard. An example that just crossed my mind is the wife who wants to talk and the husband who wants to read his newspaper. These two individuals can only reach a certain level of mutual understanding if the wife gives some time for the husband to read at least some pages of his newspaper, and ideally, the husband should listen to what his wife has to share before necessarily finish reading the entire newspaper. To me, this would be an example of effective accommodation.
Ibirapuera
W16 - Discussion Question # 3
16 years ago
This is a very interesting and relevant concept since accommodation can either be useful or detrimental to a relationship depending on the level of accommodation, and its context. Accommodation implies a sense of giving up your stance and input about something for your partner’s opinion in order to gain a seemingly good sense of harmony. Therefore, excessive amounts of accommodation may leave feelings of resentment and frustrations due to feeling that one is unable to be the one in control of the decisions and having one’s opinion and perspective heard. However, low-levels of accommodation for certain aspects may be potentially helpful, since as you have stated, compromises on certain aspects may facilitate a sense of respect, balance and appreciation for the other’s opinion and view. You have effectively shown the benefits and downfalls of accommodation, illustrating where it may be good, and the contexts where it is detrimental in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI tried, as much as possible, to relate this concept to my marriage experiences. I am glad I conveyed it in a way that it made sense to you, Scorpiochild2893! :)
ReplyDeleteIbirapuera
I feel that to constantly accommodate a partners feelings and request in a relationship to be potentially damaging. The reason why i feel this way is due to the fact the other partner might get resentful is because they might feel that their voice or opinion is never heard. I truly do believe for a relationship to last there has to be some fighting and arguments. I’m not talking about UFC kind of fighting, but definitely some arguments. It means that you’re both stating your opinion. If your relationship one of your partners argues and the other doesn’t I believe it means that your relationship isn’t worth fighting for.
ReplyDeleteI see your point. I makes sense. I do not believe in total neutrality either.
ReplyDeleteI meant to say "it makes sense."
ReplyDelete